Love…like a MOTHA
Ja’Nice
I consider myself to have had a really blessed childhood for many reasons. One of the biggest is because never, not once, did I ever feel like I wasn't loved by my mother. Now there were MANY times that I knew we didn't like each other (insert those teenage years) but not a day when I didn't feel loved. From the family Valentine's Day extravaganzas, living room campouts, my mother being at EVERY SINGLE dance performance from middle school to college and, supporting every dream I've had, I knew I was loved. Influenced by the love and guidance of her mothers (my grandmothers and a family friend) my mother aimed to replicate the love she saw- and she's done it wonderfully. On this journey to rediscover my footing as a woman who happens to be a mother, I talked to her about what it means to her to Love…like a MOTHA, here's some of that conversation.
Balancing and choices- love meant transitions- My mother is very much that woman! Before she transitioned into motherhood she was a social worker, pursuing her Masters. As a matter of fact, she was on the way to class when I decided it was my time to shine and made my grand appearance lol (sorry sis). For a short while after my birth, she returned to work part-time educating foster families on how to be well, good foster families. But for her love like a motha at that time meant she had to make a choice. She made one she felt was the best for her and her growing family. I asked her if she felt like she had any regrets about that choice...here's her response
Ah ha moments- She said adios to the job but don't get it twisted my mama wasn't no slouch! She became a serial entrepreneur- running a day care, selling Mary Kay (we got us a Red jack and I'm real sorry for stealing all your lipgloss mom), slinging that Organo Gold and Herbal Life (these are not endorsements by the way), watching other folks kids (even on snow days much to her surprise lol) and then making a choice to go back into the workforce but this time in education. All in the name of doing what she felt that was best for her family. It's moments like these and one of my favorites, her being my doula throughout my pregnancy and birth, that are my "ah ha" moments of "WHOA my mama really loves me". I wanted to know what those moments were for her, take a listen.
Expansion of love- Something she did not have on her motherhood bingo card 25 years ago was my sister having autism. There is such a grace to parent a child with special needs, I don't have that grace. My grace is to be her sister. I wanted to know if my mom felt like her love changed or expanded when it clicked that she had that grace and what it then looked like for her to love.
Not my mother- I realize that for every woman who is now a mother, you may not have had a mother like mine. Sometimes this can be a touchy subject. It can bring up memories or emotions you'd rather not recall. I asked my mom what she had specifically for you. Take a listen.
Love...like a MOTHA- Baby the way I thought this woman was about to tell me some sweet somethings but instead, she chose to CLEAR ME. This is by far my favorite clip from our entire conversation. Partly because I was just not prepared for her answer, but also because, in this moment she is STILL mothering me. Loving me into being a better woman and a better mother.
This is the part where I’m supposed to add some cliff notes and takeaways but if after all of this ya’ll still aint got it I don’t know what to tell you. All I will say is, not every woman will have the same definition of what it is to love like a motha. You may not agree with everything my mom said about what it is to love like a motha and that’s cool , just keep the comments cute cuz this is still MY mama and the Lord is still working on me. I play ZERO games about this woman. So, find out what it means to YOU to love like a motha, never forgetting that you are FIRST a woman, and stand ten toes down on that thang.
Love you, mean it- Ja’Nelle.
My mom has some great things brewing so follow her at @fit2soar to learn more about her latest ventures!
