Choices.

So, last night me and my 8-yr old sat and cried together, we're both emotional like that. We were watching clips of a rally that spewed nothing but hatred, obscenities, and straight-up ignorance. After the last clip, I felt anger burn inside of me and hot tears filled my eyes. I called them a bunch of imbeciles and my child tried to chastise me - "Mommy, don't call them names". 

I let him know that I have no intention of speaking well of them at this moment because these people are fueling a level of hatred that, if left ignored, unchecked, or worse - encouraged, will challenge our rights and our lives. To paint the picture, I brought up people he loves. His big cousin, who's in an interracial marriage with two beautiful children. His friend with two moms. Us, in our Black skin. I forgot to mention my homegirl who’s basically his second mom, and a first-gen American. But you get the point.

I told him how we don't have the right to take away someone's choice, their "godness", even if we don't agree with their choices. He said, "...they talked about God but that's not love". "Nah, baby. The Jesus they talkin’ about is not the Jesus we know". I told him that these folk want to challenge our right to choose and hide it behind religion, finger-pointing, and a plethora of phobias. 

He starts crying, balling up his fist, banging on the bed causing the books he has lined up on his side to pound against the wall. I let him. I give him a few moments to feel those feelings. Then because we like a little drama, I held his little hands while I told him the truth. At this moment I'm scared, angry, and sad. I'm worried about my rights as a woman amongst other things. I wonder if I should put some things on hold and make an escape plan.

We talk about loving our enemies.

He cries some more. My boy is all about justice and loving his enemies just doesn't sit well with him. He says it's not fair. I agree. I start getting teary-eyed watching him process all of this. He starts praying asking God to help him because he can't do it. I pray the same thing silently. This is VERY ghetto. He starts getting himself worked up some more and at this point, I've had enough. He's not going to bed with his nervous system jacked up like this so I start to pray aloud, "God this sucks...(words between us and God)...help us...give us peace...amen". Before I finished praying the boy was snoring, peace. 

I get in the shower, pray, and think some more.

I have no clue what the results of November 5th will be. None of us do. But we can make choices. Choices to be like our grandparents and great-grandparents, and be intentional about where we spend our time and money. *Screaming, "MAKE HIS POCKETS HURT", in my Lil Kayla voice!*  We can choose to be honest and vulnerable with our kids about this season because they will one day be in a position to choose.  We must be mindful of what and how much we choose to consume. It's okay to take a break from the news babe. And most importantly we can choose to honor the fight that cost so many their lives (and a $2 tax that amounted to food or a voice) and VOTE.